It's true than! Gollum has come to Hogwarts!
by JustMe3
Summary: Well, basically, Gollum goes to Hogwarts instead of Harry Potter and things get rapped up pretty quickly.


Gollum has come to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin. Nada. Zippo. I don't own Harry Potter, that's totally from the brilliant mind of one JK Rowling, I don't own Gollum, he sorta belongs to whomever is handling the works of Jrr Tolkien, and I also don't own the first line of this story. And if i did own any of that stuff, i don't think I'd waste my time writing lil stories for no profit. I'd be writing REALLY LONG stories for no profit. SO THERE! Author's note: You can think of some really weird things when your sittin in your science class bored out of your mind. For example... 

Gollum slithered and slunked with a smile most unpleasant around his compartment. He was about to leave and terrorize the rest of the train when the compartment door opened. A red-headed boy came in. 

"Anyone sitting there?" he asked, pointing at the seat opposite the one Gollum had scratched and bitten. "Everywhere else is full."

"Gollum" Gollum answered. 

"I'm Ron Weasley." said the boy. 

"Gollum" Gollum said. Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out a fat gray rat. "This is Scabbers, and he's useless. I tried to use a spell to turn him yellow. I'll show you…" Gollum jumped up from his seat and grabbed the rat. He stuffed him into his mouth and ate him. Ron was in shock. He was about to says something when the compartment door slid open again. Three boy's entered. 

"Is it true?" said one of the boys. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment." 

"Gollum" Gollum told him. The boy realized there was no such person there. "This is Crabbe and Goyle. And I'm…

"Crab?" repeated Gollum. 

"Yes, Crabbe." 

"Crab!" insisted Gollum, looking around for food.

"Um, yeah. And I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." he held out his hand to shake Gollum's. Gollum jumped up and bit the hand, still thinking of his beloved crab. Ron and Draco immediately left together and started telling everyone else about the disgusting new student. 

Gollum crawled off the Hogwarts Express. He heard a (not so) familiar voice calling "Firs' years! Firs' years over hear! All right there Gollum?" 

"Gollum" replied Gollum. He crawled into a little boat along with the red haired boy, the bushy haired girl, and the boy who hadn't yet realized that his frog Trevor was gone forever (seeing as Gollum had eaten him right after the rat). When all the first years were piled into their boats, they sailed across the great big lake toward Hogwarts. Gollum fell or jumped into the dark, murky water twice along the way. He battled it out with a group of Grindylows until Hagrid yanked him out by the feet and dragged him up to the castle. 

The new years were lead up the center of the Great Hall, Gollum however, crawled up the Ravenclaw table, stepping on and licking peoples plates and eating their silverware until he reached the front where the rest of the first years were. Professor McGonagall began placing a ratty old wizard's hat on students heads. The hat would than shout out the student's house. Finally, Gollum crawled onto the stool and stuck his head into the hat. He listened.

"hmm," he heard the hat think. "Difficult, very difficult. Yes. Well, there's talent, for fishing? And a thirst to prove yourself-- no, wait, that's a thirst for goblin's blood. Oh boy, this is a tough one. I can't think like I used to. I give up! Forget it! Sort yourself!!!" 

Meanwhile, on the outside, the rest of the Great Hall watched and waited for an answer. Finally, the hat shouted "I QUIT!" Professor McGonagal yanked the hat off and told Gollum to go wait at the Gryffindor table while she negotiated with the hat. Gollum sat down with the rest of his classmates who made sure to sit a good space away from him. 

The next day, Gollum was not late for a single class. He thought they went rather well. First, there was his Charms class where he chased around a hobbit-size creature who stood on top of a pile of books and kept waving this annoying stick at him. Than he had Potions where he managed to swallow every one of the disgusting ingredients his teacher placed in front of him. His teacher looked pretty cross, especially when Gollum tossed a cauldron out the window. Than there was his favorite class where he came in and found a deliciously gray tabby cat sitting on the front desk. How nice of the teacher to leave him a little snack! Than of course there was Defense Against the Dark Arts where he got so irritated by the funny smell coming from the teacher's turban that he leaped up and yanked it off, revealing a Lord Voldemort. He yanked at the guys face until eventually, Professor Dumbledore came in and Voldemort was captured

Meanwhile, Harry Potter sat on a dark, damp rock in the dark waiting for someone to come. All he had to keep him company was a little gold ring and the fish. He was rather fond of the ring but the stink of the fish was starting to get to him. 

And so, the moral of the story is as follows: Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts- he goes throught (so far) four years of hell battling Voldemort while dragging inocent bystanders along with him. Gollum goes to Hogwarts, first couple of days, Voldemort and Peter Pettigrew are both captured and Ron and Draco become not such enemies. You can do the math. 


End file.
